“Hello?”
“Hi, Mom, I don’t want to go to Nana and Pop Pop’s.”
“What? We’re going to Nana’s for Pop Pop’s birthday. He just got out of the hospital.”
“But it’s boring and I don’t want to eat macaroni.”
“We’re not having macaroni. We’re having lasagna.”
“OK, then.”
“Now put your father on the phone.”

I talked to Tom biting my tongue as to not get into it, with Matthew close by. However, a few days later, I let Tom know again, that this little “game,” we play isn’t okay. Matthew’s a child and Tom’s an adult and a parent, end of story. I explained Matthew never wants to do anything. I remember being about his age and feeling the same way. When my parents said, “Wanna go for a ride?” on a Sunday, I’d say, “No.” When they threatened to leave without me, I’d go running to the car. “Don’t go without me,” I’d cry. I was always happy I went and knew I would have regretted it if I stayed home. Continue Reading »

Photo Courtesy of The Big Sur Roadhouse

“It never rains in California, but girl don’t they warn ya, it pours, man it pours.”(Albert Hammond) We could always use the rain and I’m happy to turn off my sprinklers saving the money I’d be spending on water on heat instead. I drove several times this weekend in torrential downpours, “white knuckling” it to my destinations. Several times I got splashed so badly I had zero visibility and I thought my life might end. Blinded by the waves, I trusted God would keep me safe whether I lived or died. There have been a few times in my life when I thought it might be the end. In a creative writing class, I wrote a story about just such a time. It was June 3, 1996 and I’d like to share it. Continue Reading »

One morning I was praying in the shower. My prayer was, “I am not separated from God,” and I tried to really grasp that we are One. Recalling lyrics from Bob Marley, my prayers turned to song and I began singing in the shower, “One love, one heart, let’s get together and feel alright.” After the shower, I rummaged through an old cassette collection and found Bob Marley’s “Legend.” I listened to some old tunes that brought back fond memories of my first apartment and playing softball at Valley College’s baseball field. The real gift, however, was discovering lyrics that spoke to me for the first time in such a “new” way. I understood how truly enlightened Bob Marley was and how music can spur a multitude of ideas. Continue Reading »

It’s Martin Luther King Day and Matthew and I are free from school and work. All we had to do today was return a rental car from the weekend. After the drop off, I asked Matthew if he wanted to go out for lunch. I thought it’d be a nice idea on a cold, gloomy holiday, a sort of “Part 2″ from our Red Lobster date. I asked him where he wanted to go, but he gave no clues or suggestions. All he did was turn down all of mine. Continue Reading »

“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery; none but ourselves can free our minds.”

“Redemption Song” by Bob Marley

I’m healing from a head cold. The day it really tried to knock me down, I left work early. Of course, God knew what I needed before I could even ask. That’s why Tom, my ex-husband called and offered to pick up Matthew and take him to an appointment with him. When my ex brought Matthew home, they found me in bed with a slight fever. Tom cooked dinner and helped with homework. After he left, Matthew took care of me bringing water and getting himself ready for bed. Continue Reading »

Last Thursday night, I had the pleasure of watching “Make Me a Supermodel” on Bravo. It was fun watching the men or should I say boys on the show. Being a big fan of “America’s Next Top Model,” the change was nice. One of the guy contestants really stuck out for me. His name was Frankie and he was sexy, until he spoke. Even though I really enjoyed his accent, he was a bit full of himself. Don’t get me wrong a guy who’s self assured is sexy but if he’s too cocky that can be a turn off. But the best thing about watching Frankie was, he reminded me of a guy I went out with, the one who called me “Mama.” They’re both really skinny, have long, dark, wavy, hair, sharp features and are young. Continue Reading »